Lazy River

Nine months in, nine months out… that’s what they say it takes for the little bugger that popped out of me to get accustomed to this thing we call life; and just like that – an equivocal blink of an eye- she’s satisfied every developmental checklist I’ve read, she’s surpassed them even. She’s walking (sometimes running) everywhere she can manage, and insists that she do things herself, yes already. She’s so determined and she loves to challenge herself and I love her for that! Though with challenges comes struggle; my type-a personality daughter has not yet mastered the skill of opening books and flipping pages, I mean- she does it, but she must not get to the page she had in mind, because she often gets frustrated and begins to kick her legs and whimpers. Well it’s either that or she is getting upset she can’t read the words herself, my little genius! It is so thrilling to just watch her play, watching her figure things out for the first time, and watching her examine the outside world and trying to put all the pieces together, It’s truly lifting.
I wrote an update blog a month ago, and apparently never posted it, thank God– I re-read it and it was all about sleep ‘training’ and I broke just about a thousand punctuation and sentence forming rules! Hah not as if my blogs are grammatically correct anyway, but it was a bit ridiculous. Now for some new updates; Avalina is walking everywhere, she doesn’t even crawl anymore – ever – and when people ask how old she is, after my response, it’s as if I confessed to murder; they gasp so loud and give me this look, often followed by an expression like oh my word! Or WOW she’s walking already. Yes people, I am fully aware that my daughter is just THAT amazing – walking at nine months you can cease the drama. I then proceed to tell them that she can form sentences too- just joshin ya! (Hehe remember when that phrase was hip? Joshin) Oh, and sorry about the murder reference, my husband has been home at night recently and we have started to watch our startling sitcoms- Dexter and Breaking Bad; and they are totally awesome, new one comes on tonight (silent yay with arms up in high V). Oh anyway that’s not what you want to be reading about, you want to read about how my darling daughter is doing – well, she poops, she plays, and she eats. That’s basically it – she is, after all, only ten months old people.

That's Life

I’m living like the Amish today (fully equip with whoopee pies) no internet/cable/phone. Our Verizon box decided to fry and they can’t send a dispatcher for another 3 days, what kind of garbage is that? We are so unsatisfied with their crappy customer service so we just cancelled with them. So I super cleaned the kitchen, except for the dead spider on the floor that I can’t bring myself to pick-up gah, and I did some laundry, and since Avalina is still taking a nap I decided to write a blog, Lucky you!
Eight Months is such a tiny time frame, but Avalina has done so much with those eight modest months! She is starting to stand fully, on her own without props, which is crazy to me, she is still crawling strong, and prefers to play with her toys standing up, rather than sitting, and don’t even attempt to lay her down- forget it she’s much too big for that mess! She has four glorious teeth, the bottom two are so big and the top two are just popping out, to me it looks like there will be a little gap between them! Hehe but that’s okay because daddy has one too! Each new developmental stage she passes makes it a little easier on me in one sense, and harder in another – for example, when she started to crawl – awesome!! I didn’t have to hover over her and play with her constantly, but along with crawling came pulling herself up on things, so I had to sit by her side while she became accustomed to her new legs, reminiscent of the little mermaid, hehe she was shaky but determined! Her feeble attempts kept me close by, though there were times when she fell – not cool, but it happens to the best of ‘em. Sometimes I just want to wrap her up with bubble wrap and styrofoam like the boy on Little Giants (picture is above for reference- by the way, I looked exactly like that little boy when I was growing up, for all I know, that is me).
Onto other update news; breastfeeding is going well, and I wish I could say the same about solids! She loves to feed herself but isn’t too fond of putting food in her mouth, though she reluctantly keeps trying! She’ll shove just about anything in her mouth if you let her… well, even if you won’t lol. Her new favorite thing is a wisk, don’t ask me why, she loves it – and so does mommy, it keeps her content while mommy whips up some whoopee pies ;-) haha That and a spatula, the kind with a rubber end, it’s the same texture as a pacifier, so I’m sure that’s why she’s drawn to that one. She still only says mama and dada, although I am pretty convinced that she said Chuck once, when we were playing with our cat (Chuck is his name, but now I call him up-chuck, because most of the time I say to him “shut up Chuck” because ALLLL he does is Meoooooowwwww, Avalina’s next word will probably be meow for this reason… or up-chuck, who knows! Time will tell)

Call Me Irresponsible

It has been almost 7 and a half months since Avalina was born, and I still weigh the exact same amount as I did when I got home from the hospital--despite all of my efforts to shed a few lb’s. In the first few months I lost 10 pounds – I was feeling good, I had 8-10 more pounds to go to get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Not so bad considering I was breastfeeding and I was told it was good to pack on a few extra pounds to ensure proper nutrition. At any freakin rate, I would have been happy loosing 5 more pounds, unfortunately I hit a plateau, and couldn’t push through the mediocre digits on the scale. I don’t typically live by the numbers, I usually go off of how I feel, and truth be told I felt like crap…no make that lard! I felt and looked like lard. My thighs touched when I walked (a new feeling to me) my shorts didn’t fit b/c my posterior had doubled in size (if not tripled) I had a chin and a half, and to top it off, I had D cups, okay, that part I could probably live with if I had to since that is the source of my baby’s nutrition-- but seriously I miss my A cups!
So in my mind I settled – all the while I will admit I felt a bit insecure in my new skin, but I figured – eh, I just had a baby, it’ll come off eventually if I continue to eat right and workout. I should probably tell you that my ‘workout’ consists of a Karen Voight DVD called Yoga Sculpt – it is awesome, I used it all through college; it kept me firm and fit—but I also weighted the same amount of a sack of potatoes back then, so I’m not expecting miracles this time around…
Flash forward a few months to May when I took an almost two month long vacation to visit my mom in Pennsylvania – a journey filled with plenty of whoopee pies – my kryptonite. Sure enough the pounds started to slowly creep back on. Ugh. And before I knew it I was back to my swollen-straight-out-of-the-hospital body. When I returned home I promised myself that I would get back in shape. Since this is not where this blog ends, you guessed it, I have not lost a pound. Those damn whoopee pies – my family lovingly bought me a whoopee pie maker –What they did not know is that I do not possess the kind of self control it takes to own a whoopee pie maker. Whoopiee pies EVERY.DAY. Whoops.
I have not expressed to anyone my weight struggles, since I have not gained an excessive amount of weight; it seems silly to complain about it. I should clarify that this blog is not me complaining, it is me making a promise to you. I am writing this to be accountable to someone other than myself, because obviously I need a bit more motivation; so here it goes – I want to loose weight… ugggh can I just tell you ever since I wrote that snip about whoopee pies I have been dieing to make some… rats. So here is my goal – by Christmas I will be back to my pre-pregnancy weight – which means I will be happy if I loose 15 pounds. That is—of course if I’m not pregnant by then. Woah – did that just slap you in the face or what?

All of Me

Five months old. When I see those three little words written down, it doesn’t seem like much time has gone by, but by-golly Avalina has grown so much, and too fast I might add. She might be six months old before I actually get to finish and post this blog. She has surely kept me busy! I’m going to get pretty honest with you on this blog, fair warning. Haha I know I’m pretty down and dirty in the other ones, but I have a feeling this one will get pretty personal. So here it is, no lies, just the cold hard truth. Having a kid is hard work. I think I heard that- oh - sometime in my mere 24 years of living, but the light has not shone on it for me until I had one, sure enough. I love Avalina with everything inside of me, which is why I have devoted every waking moment to her needs, I have put (almost) every aspect of my life on the back burner, and some days –here comes the honest part—it sucks. Lol Some days I just want, and miss, the quiet moments all to myself…the moments I use to have to paint my nails and read a book while I felt the summer air on my skin. When the only noise I heard in the background was the whisping of the wind, and the only thing I had to worry about cleaning was my old Barbie doll clothes shamefully shoved in the back of my closet—you can detect how little I had to worry about, yes? And now, I lay on my unmade bed, staring at my chipped nail polish, feeling sweaty, due to the very long walk I just took Avalina on, worrying about ... well just about everything, listening to my daughter breathe through the baby monitor. Yup, life has changed. I consider myself a good mother, even though thinking back I cannot remember the last day that went by without receiving criticism from someone about how to change the way that I parent… everyone’s a critic… But all in all, I am there for my daughter when she needs me, after all, isn’t that what we all need? I am fulfilled in knowing that we are finally settling into a routine. Motherhood finally feels like it fits(even amid all of the criticism) as opposed to the first few months I was frazzled. I will admit that I did not have the best post-partum experience—there are many things I would have changed—but I am all the better, saving the memories for the next baby experience, which I might add is not now.. lol but Alex and I do want to expand our family at a more rapid pace than some people will approve of. But for now I am overjoyed in Knowing that my baby is healthy and happy! All the other stuff—like painted nails, and quiet moments.. well, I’m sure I’ll have a plethora of those when I’m older.. you know, like eighty. ;-) I’ve learned that the most prominent part of mommyhood is becoming selfless, and I think I’m slipping into it somewhat smoothly, with maybe a tiny bit of grace.

Quando, Quando, Quando

Quando Quando Quando

Time is a funny thing, when you want it to pass quickly, it seemingly stands still, and conversely, when you want it to stand still it flies by! The popular proverb ‘time flies’ certainly holds true as I watch Avalina grow! She is already two months old and I keep asking myself where the past two months have gone. Perhaps I have just been in a sleep deprived daze, but I feel like it has only been two weeks! Avalina is so big, and she has grown so much!! Though I’m sure two months from now I am going to look back and think “man, I thought she was big Then!” She is now 23 inches long and 12.6 lbs, and certainly does not look like the same baby we brought home from the hospital! (Well, she does. . but, you know what I mean ;-) )
She had her two month check up this past week and along with that came the dreaded shots. I think it hurt Alex and I much more than it hurt her. After being poked she cried for a minute and then fell asleep in my arms; it truly was a rough day for her and she deserved every minute of that nap.
In conjunction with turning two months old, we said farewell to Avalina’s colic! What a delight the past couple of weeks have been!! She is such an angel, cooing all the time! My favorite thing to do is hear her laugh and smile while we play! She no longer cries for hours on end; furthermore, I no longer feel the need to rip my hair out! Although I have been contemplating cutting my coat! But that’s another blog… for now I am busy wondering what is with this whole time-flying-by phenomenon, and how can I make it stop??

Home

It has only been three weeks since Avalina has been home and we have been through so much already! From hearing her cry to watching her sleep, she makes each passing day more exciting! I’m not going to lie; we have had a few drawbacks on the blissful times. There are times when she cries and all I can feel is my heart breaking because I can’t do anything to help her. Since she is such a fussy baby we brought her to the doctor to discover that she is 22 inches now, and has colic and GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease). Our poor poor baby. It is the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in my entire life. Knowing my daughter is in pain and there’s close to nothing I can do about it makes my heart ache. Alex and I have discovered some techniques to help soothe her, but sometimes it doesn’t make the situation any better. The doctor gave us some medicine to help with her acid reflux, which seems to be helping. And we also bought gripe water—which doesn’t seem to do much, but we continue to give it to her with high hopes. Aside from that she is the sweetest baby! She is a great sleeper and mama appreciates it! Once she actually gets to sleep she will sometimes let me rest for 4 hours before waking up to eat in the middle of the night! Other nights she wakes up every 2 hours, leaving mama with very little sleep time. To be fair people told us how exhausted we would be, I just don’t think they emphasized it fully. A lot of people told us many different things on what to expect with a newborn . . . but the other day when her umbilical cord started to smell like a rotting dumpster in the dead heat of summer, I guess people forgot to mention that this was a normal occurrence among newborns! Gross. It was almost as awesome as her first tar-like poop! Only, we didn’t take a picture of her umbilical cord, I think because we were so preoccupied by the atrocious odor. There are many other things that she does that make mommy and daddy laugh- like the first time she held her head up all by herself; I think Alex and I laughed for two minutes straight it was so cute watching her stretch her long neck toward the ceiling like a turtle! Or when Alex tried to get Avalina to suck on his nose, and she spit up in it!! Hehee And when she was trying to squeeze one out (poop) the other morning she grunted for a full 15 seconds straight!!! It was VERY un-lady-like! But it sent Alex and me into a laughing frenzy! Yup--It is times like these that make the harder times easier to get through.

L.O.V.E.

It was a long nine months, but the two extra weeks we had to wait to meet our daughter seemed even longer, and this blog will probably be the longest yet! Each day that passed during the first week I went overdue I thought to myself ‘today’s the day!’ and when the second week arrived, I came to the realization that our love was going to dwell in my womb for the rest of her life. Thankfully I was wrong.
Since my uterus still wasn’t dilated, my doctors decided that it would be best to reschedule my induction date if I wanted the best chance of having a vaginal delivery– so that’s exactly what we did. I was scheduled to be induced with pitocin Sunday evening at 7:30, and when I woke up Sunday morning at 3am with some cramping I had some high hopes, but forced myself to go back to bed and convinced myself that it was just Braxton hicks—which I was excited about having nonetheless—at least my body was doing something! So later in the day when 3pm rolled around and I was having contractions 5-7 minutes apart I couldn’t believe it! Leave it to Avalina to literally wait until the last minute to come! (Does this foreshadow that she will forever be a procrastinator?) So there I was anxiously timing my contractions, getting more and more excited with each passing one. When 7:00 rolled around we left the house and head to the hospital to meet our destiny.
After the nurse was finished setting me up to be induced she checked my uterus and informed me that I was 2 cm dilated, and affirmed that I was in deed having contractions! Woo Hoo!! The doctor decided that I did not need pitocin! Awesomeee! 2 hours later I was 5cm dilated. 2 hours after that they broke my water—which was not as exciting as I thought it would be had it happened on its own. After they broke my water, the very next contraction I had was so intense I vomited. Yup. It was awesome lol. An hour after that I was 8.5cm!! So the nurse informed us that it wouldn’t be too much longer and for me to page her when I felt the urge to push!! Deep Breath. The time had come and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic, although I wasn’t able to properly show my enthusiasm because my contractions were so powerful!! They had been SO close together, I literally couldn’t catch a break, the nurse said the monitor made it look like I had been given the pitocin! Oye. So three hours later the nurse came back in. Shocked- I was STILL 8.5cm. ugh how annoying! How much more of this could I take?? The doctor patiently discussed that I should consider getting an epidural so my body would have a chance to relax and do its thing. Worn out and exhausted, I wasn’t even able to articulate to him that I wanted to avoid the epidural like the plague. 20 minutes later they gave me pitocin to try to help move it along. . .and a half hour after that a new doctor (I don’t even know where she came from—must have been a shift change—but I am glad she didn’t deliver me) came in to check on me, and after telling us that I wasn’t quite ready yet, she left the room. As she was walking out the nurse asked if I should try pushing anyway, the doctor gave a hasty nod and proceeded out the doorway. So there we were. About to push. Alex—being the inquisitive fellow that he is—asked how long the pushing phase will last; the nurse informed us that first time moms usually take 1-3 hours! She also told us that after three hours if the baby still wasn’t out, that they would perform a c-section. Well then let’s get this baby out, I said!
Determined and ready, I started to push. 10 minutes and three contractions later the nurse gave me the red light and told me to stop pushing! The baby was almost out! She quickly paged the doctor, when the doctor—the one I had come to know and love-- arrived 5 minutes later he was beyond stunned—which pretty much summed up the feelings in the room! One more little push from me, and the room was filled with the sound of Avalina’s cry, and the unconditional love from her mother and father. She was born at December 27, 2010 at 8:30am, 20 inches long, and 8 pounds 14 ounces of joy. I loved her before I met her, but meeting her was the greatest happiness of my life.