It has been almost 7 and a half months since Avalina was born, and I still weigh the exact same amount as I did when I got home from the hospital--despite all of my efforts to shed a few lb’s. In the first few months I lost 10 pounds – I was feeling good, I had 8-10 more pounds to go to get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Not so bad considering I was breastfeeding and I was told it was good to pack on a few extra pounds to ensure proper nutrition. At any freakin rate, I would have been happy loosing 5 more pounds, unfortunately I hit a plateau, and couldn’t push through the mediocre digits on the scale. I don’t typically live by the numbers, I usually go off of how I feel, and truth be told I felt like crap…no make that lard! I felt and looked like lard. My thighs touched when I walked (a new feeling to me) my shorts didn’t fit b/c my posterior had doubled in size (if not tripled) I had a chin and a half, and to top it off, I had D cups, okay, that part I could probably live with if I had to since that is the source of my baby’s nutrition-- but seriously I miss my A cups!
So in my mind I settled – all the while I will admit I felt a bit insecure in my new skin, but I figured – eh, I just had a baby, it’ll come off eventually if I continue to eat right and workout. I should probably tell you that my ‘workout’ consists of a Karen Voight DVD called Yoga Sculpt – it is awesome, I used it all through college; it kept me firm and fit—but I also weighted the same amount of a sack of potatoes back then, so I’m not expecting miracles this time around…
Flash forward a few months to May when I took an almost two month long vacation to visit my mom in Pennsylvania – a journey filled with plenty of whoopee pies – my kryptonite. Sure enough the pounds started to slowly creep back on. Ugh. And before I knew it I was back to my swollen-straight-out-of-the-hospital body. When I returned home I promised myself that I would get back in shape. Since this is not where this blog ends, you guessed it, I have not lost a pound. Those damn whoopee pies – my family lovingly bought me a whoopee pie maker –What they did not know is that I do not possess the kind of self control it takes to own a whoopee pie maker. Whoopiee pies EVERY.DAY. Whoops.
I have not expressed to anyone my weight struggles, since I have not gained an excessive amount of weight; it seems silly to complain about it. I should clarify that this blog is not me complaining, it is me making a promise to you. I am writing this to be accountable to someone other than myself, because obviously I need a bit more motivation; so here it goes – I want to loose weight… ugggh can I just tell you ever since I wrote that snip about whoopee pies I have been dieing to make some… rats. So here is my goal – by Christmas I will be back to my pre-pregnancy weight – which means I will be happy if I loose 15 pounds. That is—of course if I’m not pregnant by then. Woah – did that just slap you in the face or what?
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
All of Me
Five months old. When I see those three little words written down, it doesn’t seem like much time has gone by, but by-golly Avalina has grown so much, and too fast I might add. She might be six months old before I actually get to finish and post this blog. She has surely kept me busy! I’m going to get pretty honest with you on this blog, fair warning. Haha I know I’m pretty down and dirty in the other ones, but I have a feeling this one will get pretty personal. So here it is, no lies, just the cold hard truth. Having a kid is hard work. I think I heard that- oh - sometime in my mere 24 years of living, but the light has not shone on it for me until I had one, sure enough. I love Avalina with everything inside of me, which is why I have devoted every waking moment to her needs, I have put (almost) every aspect of my life on the back burner, and some days –here comes the honest part—it sucks. Lol Some days I just want, and miss, the quiet moments all to myself…the moments I use to have to paint my nails and read a book while I felt the summer air on my skin. When the only noise I heard in the background was the whisping of the wind, and the only thing I had to worry about cleaning was my old Barbie doll clothes shamefully shoved in the back of my closet—you can detect how little I had to worry about, yes? And now, I lay on my unmade bed, staring at my chipped nail polish, feeling sweaty, due to the very long walk I just took Avalina on, worrying about ... well just about everything, listening to my daughter breathe through the baby monitor. Yup, life has changed. I consider myself a good mother, even though thinking back I cannot remember the last day that went by without receiving criticism from someone about how to change the way that I parent… everyone’s a critic… But all in all, I am there for my daughter when she needs me, after all, isn’t that what we all need? I am fulfilled in knowing that we are finally settling into a routine. Motherhood finally feels like it fits(even amid all of the criticism) as opposed to the first few months I was frazzled. I will admit that I did not have the best post-partum experience—there are many things I would have changed—but I am all the better, saving the memories for the next baby experience, which I might add is not now.. lol but Alex and I do want to expand our family at a more rapid pace than some people will approve of. But for now I am overjoyed in Knowing that my baby is healthy and happy! All the other stuff—like painted nails, and quiet moments.. well, I’m sure I’ll have a plethora of those when I’m older.. you know, like eighty. ;-) I’ve learned that the most prominent part of mommyhood is becoming selfless, and I think I’m slipping into it somewhat smoothly, with maybe a tiny bit of grace.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Quando, Quando, Quando
Quando Quando Quando
Time is a funny thing, when you want it to pass quickly, it seemingly stands still, and conversely, when you want it to stand still it flies by! The popular proverb ‘time flies’ certainly holds true as I watch Avalina grow! She is already two months old and I keep asking myself where the past two months have gone. Perhaps I have just been in a sleep deprived daze, but I feel like it has only been two weeks! Avalina is so big, and she has grown so much!! Though I’m sure two months from now I am going to look back and think “man, I thought she was big Then!” She is now 23 inches long and 12.6 lbs, and certainly does not look like the same baby we brought home from the hospital! (Well, she does. . but, you know what I mean ;-) )
She had her two month check up this past week and along with that came the dreaded shots. I think it hurt Alex and I much more than it hurt her. After being poked she cried for a minute and then fell asleep in my arms; it truly was a rough day for her and she deserved every minute of that nap.
In conjunction with turning two months old, we said farewell to Avalina’s colic! What a delight the past couple of weeks have been!! She is such an angel, cooing all the time! My favorite thing to do is hear her laugh and smile while we play! She no longer cries for hours on end; furthermore, I no longer feel the need to rip my hair out! Although I have been contemplating cutting my coat! But that’s another blog… for now I am busy wondering what is with this whole time-flying-by phenomenon, and how can I make it stop??
Time is a funny thing, when you want it to pass quickly, it seemingly stands still, and conversely, when you want it to stand still it flies by! The popular proverb ‘time flies’ certainly holds true as I watch Avalina grow! She is already two months old and I keep asking myself where the past two months have gone. Perhaps I have just been in a sleep deprived daze, but I feel like it has only been two weeks! Avalina is so big, and she has grown so much!! Though I’m sure two months from now I am going to look back and think “man, I thought she was big Then!” She is now 23 inches long and 12.6 lbs, and certainly does not look like the same baby we brought home from the hospital! (Well, she does. . but, you know what I mean ;-) )
She had her two month check up this past week and along with that came the dreaded shots. I think it hurt Alex and I much more than it hurt her. After being poked she cried for a minute and then fell asleep in my arms; it truly was a rough day for her and she deserved every minute of that nap.
In conjunction with turning two months old, we said farewell to Avalina’s colic! What a delight the past couple of weeks have been!! She is such an angel, cooing all the time! My favorite thing to do is hear her laugh and smile while we play! She no longer cries for hours on end; furthermore, I no longer feel the need to rip my hair out! Although I have been contemplating cutting my coat! But that’s another blog… for now I am busy wondering what is with this whole time-flying-by phenomenon, and how can I make it stop??
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Home
It has only been three weeks since Avalina has been home and we have been through so much already! From hearing her cry to watching her sleep, she makes each passing day more exciting! I’m not going to lie; we have had a few drawbacks on the blissful times. There are times when she cries and all I can feel is my heart breaking because I can’t do anything to help her. Since she is such a fussy baby we brought her to the doctor to discover that she is 22 inches now, and has colic and GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease). Our poor poor baby. It is the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with in my entire life. Knowing my daughter is in pain and there’s close to nothing I can do about it makes my heart ache. Alex and I have discovered some techniques to help soothe her, but sometimes it doesn’t make the situation any better. The doctor gave us some medicine to help with her acid reflux, which seems to be helping. And we also bought gripe water—which doesn’t seem to do much, but we continue to give it to her with high hopes. Aside from that she is the sweetest baby! She is a great sleeper and mama appreciates it! Once she actually gets to sleep she will sometimes let me rest for 4 hours before waking up to eat in the middle of the night! Other nights she wakes up every 2 hours, leaving mama with very little sleep time. To be fair people told us how exhausted we would be, I just don’t think they emphasized it fully. A lot of people told us many different things on what to expect with a newborn . . . but the other day when her umbilical cord started to smell like a rotting dumpster in the dead heat of summer, I guess people forgot to mention that this was a normal occurrence among newborns! Gross. It was almost as awesome as her first tar-like poop! Only, we didn’t take a picture of her umbilical cord, I think because we were so preoccupied by the atrocious odor. There are many other things that she does that make mommy and daddy laugh- like the first time she held her head up all by herself; I think Alex and I laughed for two minutes straight it was so cute watching her stretch her long neck toward the ceiling like a turtle! Or when Alex tried to get Avalina to suck on his nose, and she spit up in it!! Hehee And when she was trying to squeeze one out (poop) the other morning she grunted for a full 15 seconds straight!!! It was VERY un-lady-like! But it sent Alex and me into a laughing frenzy! Yup--It is times like these that make the harder times easier to get through.
L.O.V.E.
It was a long nine months, but the two extra weeks we had to wait to meet our daughter seemed even longer, and this blog will probably be the longest yet! Each day that passed during the first week I went overdue I thought to myself ‘today’s the day!’ and when the second week arrived, I came to the realization that our love was going to dwell in my womb for the rest of her life. Thankfully I was wrong.
Since my uterus still wasn’t dilated, my doctors decided that it would be best to reschedule my induction date if I wanted the best chance of having a vaginal delivery– so that’s exactly what we did. I was scheduled to be induced with pitocin Sunday evening at 7:30, and when I woke up Sunday morning at 3am with some cramping I had some high hopes, but forced myself to go back to bed and convinced myself that it was just Braxton hicks—which I was excited about having nonetheless—at least my body was doing something! So later in the day when 3pm rolled around and I was having contractions 5-7 minutes apart I couldn’t believe it! Leave it to Avalina to literally wait until the last minute to come! (Does this foreshadow that she will forever be a procrastinator?) So there I was anxiously timing my contractions, getting more and more excited with each passing one. When 7:00 rolled around we left the house and head to the hospital to meet our destiny.
After the nurse was finished setting me up to be induced she checked my uterus and informed me that I was 2 cm dilated, and affirmed that I was in deed having contractions! Woo Hoo!! The doctor decided that I did not need pitocin! Awesomeee! 2 hours later I was 5cm dilated. 2 hours after that they broke my water—which was not as exciting as I thought it would be had it happened on its own. After they broke my water, the very next contraction I had was so intense I vomited. Yup. It was awesome lol. An hour after that I was 8.5cm!! So the nurse informed us that it wouldn’t be too much longer and for me to page her when I felt the urge to push!! Deep Breath. The time had come and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic, although I wasn’t able to properly show my enthusiasm because my contractions were so powerful!! They had been SO close together, I literally couldn’t catch a break, the nurse said the monitor made it look like I had been given the pitocin! Oye. So three hours later the nurse came back in. Shocked- I was STILL 8.5cm. ugh how annoying! How much more of this could I take?? The doctor patiently discussed that I should consider getting an epidural so my body would have a chance to relax and do its thing. Worn out and exhausted, I wasn’t even able to articulate to him that I wanted to avoid the epidural like the plague. 20 minutes later they gave me pitocin to try to help move it along. . .and a half hour after that a new doctor (I don’t even know where she came from—must have been a shift change—but I am glad she didn’t deliver me) came in to check on me, and after telling us that I wasn’t quite ready yet, she left the room. As she was walking out the nurse asked if I should try pushing anyway, the doctor gave a hasty nod and proceeded out the doorway. So there we were. About to push. Alex—being the inquisitive fellow that he is—asked how long the pushing phase will last; the nurse informed us that first time moms usually take 1-3 hours! She also told us that after three hours if the baby still wasn’t out, that they would perform a c-section. Well then let’s get this baby out, I said!
Determined and ready, I started to push. 10 minutes and three contractions later the nurse gave me the red light and told me to stop pushing! The baby was almost out! She quickly paged the doctor, when the doctor—the one I had come to know and love-- arrived 5 minutes later he was beyond stunned—which pretty much summed up the feelings in the room! One more little push from me, and the room was filled with the sound of Avalina’s cry, and the unconditional love from her mother and father. She was born at December 27, 2010 at 8:30am, 20 inches long, and 8 pounds 14 ounces of joy. I loved her before I met her, but meeting her was the greatest happiness of my life.
Since my uterus still wasn’t dilated, my doctors decided that it would be best to reschedule my induction date if I wanted the best chance of having a vaginal delivery– so that’s exactly what we did. I was scheduled to be induced with pitocin Sunday evening at 7:30, and when I woke up Sunday morning at 3am with some cramping I had some high hopes, but forced myself to go back to bed and convinced myself that it was just Braxton hicks—which I was excited about having nonetheless—at least my body was doing something! So later in the day when 3pm rolled around and I was having contractions 5-7 minutes apart I couldn’t believe it! Leave it to Avalina to literally wait until the last minute to come! (Does this foreshadow that she will forever be a procrastinator?) So there I was anxiously timing my contractions, getting more and more excited with each passing one. When 7:00 rolled around we left the house and head to the hospital to meet our destiny.
After the nurse was finished setting me up to be induced she checked my uterus and informed me that I was 2 cm dilated, and affirmed that I was in deed having contractions! Woo Hoo!! The doctor decided that I did not need pitocin! Awesomeee! 2 hours later I was 5cm dilated. 2 hours after that they broke my water—which was not as exciting as I thought it would be had it happened on its own. After they broke my water, the very next contraction I had was so intense I vomited. Yup. It was awesome lol. An hour after that I was 8.5cm!! So the nurse informed us that it wouldn’t be too much longer and for me to page her when I felt the urge to push!! Deep Breath. The time had come and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic, although I wasn’t able to properly show my enthusiasm because my contractions were so powerful!! They had been SO close together, I literally couldn’t catch a break, the nurse said the monitor made it look like I had been given the pitocin! Oye. So three hours later the nurse came back in. Shocked- I was STILL 8.5cm. ugh how annoying! How much more of this could I take?? The doctor patiently discussed that I should consider getting an epidural so my body would have a chance to relax and do its thing. Worn out and exhausted, I wasn’t even able to articulate to him that I wanted to avoid the epidural like the plague. 20 minutes later they gave me pitocin to try to help move it along. . .and a half hour after that a new doctor (I don’t even know where she came from—must have been a shift change—but I am glad she didn’t deliver me) came in to check on me, and after telling us that I wasn’t quite ready yet, she left the room. As she was walking out the nurse asked if I should try pushing anyway, the doctor gave a hasty nod and proceeded out the doorway. So there we were. About to push. Alex—being the inquisitive fellow that he is—asked how long the pushing phase will last; the nurse informed us that first time moms usually take 1-3 hours! She also told us that after three hours if the baby still wasn’t out, that they would perform a c-section. Well then let’s get this baby out, I said!
Determined and ready, I started to push. 10 minutes and three contractions later the nurse gave me the red light and told me to stop pushing! The baby was almost out! She quickly paged the doctor, when the doctor—the one I had come to know and love-- arrived 5 minutes later he was beyond stunned—which pretty much summed up the feelings in the room! One more little push from me, and the room was filled with the sound of Avalina’s cry, and the unconditional love from her mother and father. She was born at December 27, 2010 at 8:30am, 20 inches long, and 8 pounds 14 ounces of joy. I loved her before I met her, but meeting her was the greatest happiness of my life.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Feelin' Good
Everything is ready for little Avalina’s arrival; We have a car seat in each car, her nursery is finished, and the cloth diapers are pre-washed and stuffed! All Alex and I have to do now is twiddle our thumbs and wait on Avalina to decide when she wants to meet us, and since that's not very time-consuming, other things have been skipping through my mind; like labor and delivery (terrifying) and my pregnancy experiences (equally as terrifying) lol just kidding.
It's hard to imagine that nine months have come and gone so quickly. As the days to my due date continue to diminish, I can't help but think about them and how far I’ve come!
At almost 39 weeks along, I have gained 34 pounds and I don't even want to measure how many inches!! Truth be told I didn't think it was possible for me to get as big as I have, but boy was I wrong! I've heard the funny stories about pregnant women leaving the house with mismatched shoes on, and how they have psychotic meltdowns due to raging hormones. But I never thought it would take me 20 minutes to get dressed every morning because of the embarrassing amount of clothes I have to choose from that actually fit, or how far away from the sink I have to stand to be able to do dishes! Or the fact that it is nearly impossible for me to cut my own toe nails because this massive belly of mine gets in the way! Even the simple, graceful task of hugging my husband has become a challenge. I either have to awkwardly stand sideways, or he has to hunch half way over to achieve this simple task. You can only guess how hard some other things have become due to my growing girth! And my belly is not the only thing that's growing. . Oh no. I've got plenty of stretch marks else where as evidence to prove that I have expanded in many other areas as well--not to exclude my feet-- No, my feet do not have stretch marks, but the past couple of week they have been practically unrecognizable as toes. They much more resemble sausage links--along with my fingers, though they're not as bad as my overgrown feet, they have been getting so swollen I was forced one day to go without my wedding rings, it only took me one day to realize how judgmental people are after getting a few dozen "looks" from passer-byers. "The look" refers to a facial expression given out by strangers when they see my pregnant belly and young looking face, combined with my naked ring finger. . .like i'm some kind of sleez. That was enough for me to force my rings back on my banana hands so I would no longer experience the shame and guilt from "the look". Even with all of the discomfort, I can honestly say that pregnancy has treated me well, other than an previously existing diagnosis of costochondritis, I haven't experienced much pain to complain about. . labor and delivery might be a different story. . but until that day comes (and we hope it will come soon), I have to admit i've been feelin good.
It's hard to imagine that nine months have come and gone so quickly. As the days to my due date continue to diminish, I can't help but think about them and how far I’ve come!
At almost 39 weeks along, I have gained 34 pounds and I don't even want to measure how many inches!! Truth be told I didn't think it was possible for me to get as big as I have, but boy was I wrong! I've heard the funny stories about pregnant women leaving the house with mismatched shoes on, and how they have psychotic meltdowns due to raging hormones. But I never thought it would take me 20 minutes to get dressed every morning because of the embarrassing amount of clothes I have to choose from that actually fit, or how far away from the sink I have to stand to be able to do dishes! Or the fact that it is nearly impossible for me to cut my own toe nails because this massive belly of mine gets in the way! Even the simple, graceful task of hugging my husband has become a challenge. I either have to awkwardly stand sideways, or he has to hunch half way over to achieve this simple task. You can only guess how hard some other things have become due to my growing girth! And my belly is not the only thing that's growing. . Oh no. I've got plenty of stretch marks else where as evidence to prove that I have expanded in many other areas as well--not to exclude my feet-- No, my feet do not have stretch marks, but the past couple of week they have been practically unrecognizable as toes. They much more resemble sausage links--along with my fingers, though they're not as bad as my overgrown feet, they have been getting so swollen I was forced one day to go without my wedding rings, it only took me one day to realize how judgmental people are after getting a few dozen "looks" from passer-byers. "The look" refers to a facial expression given out by strangers when they see my pregnant belly and young looking face, combined with my naked ring finger. . .like i'm some kind of sleez. That was enough for me to force my rings back on my banana hands so I would no longer experience the shame and guilt from "the look". Even with all of the discomfort, I can honestly say that pregnancy has treated me well, other than an previously existing diagnosis of costochondritis, I haven't experienced much pain to complain about. . labor and delivery might be a different story. . but until that day comes (and we hope it will come soon), I have to admit i've been feelin good.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Come Fly With Me
I've noticed myself saying, "The past couple of weeks have been so crazy!" a lot recently, so I figure I should start this blog by saying. . My life is crazy! The move from Italy to America has been. . .well, stressful and long, starting with the 21 hour travel day flying from Venice to Pennsylvania to visit my mom's side of the family. The flight was decent, and everything pretty much fell into place, which was nice since we were traveling with our kitties, but I'll just add that we will never be flying United . . ever. . again. We're Delta lovers, and it will stay that way from now on out-regardless of the cost-- well, pending $5-$10. haha hey, we're still frugal ;-) Needless to say we were happy to arrive in PA safely, and spent two wonderful weeks with my family relaxing as much as we could, with a trip to New Jersey thrown in, a surprise baby shower, a trip to Chocolate World and sporadically looking for a van; we stayed pretty busy! Yup, you read right, a van. I caved in and decided that the most responsible automobile to buy would be a van, so we did our research and looked at consumer reports books for hours on end and ultimately decided that Toyota Sienna would be the best route - consequently, we are now proud owners of Toyota Sienna! :) and I've got to admit, it's not as bad as I thought it would be! I'm not exactly sure why I was so against a van in the first place, maybe because they have the non-cool stigma attached to them, but I felt pretty darn stylish cruisin on yet another long trip from PA to Florida! It took us 18 hours. . In Europe you can drive eighteen hours and see it all!! We were just making our way through five states! Good golly! Everything is bigger in America. lol--So off we went with the kitties in tow, they are such good travelers I tell you, I hope Avalina is as good as traveler as they are! haha. We stopped half way through in NC and had a short quaint visit with Alex's aunt Stacy, then it was on the road again. . .
Finally we made it to Tampa and the very next day the movers were scheduled to come and drop off all of our household goods, but before they came, Alex - along with his team of experts-- decided to paint the ENTIRE town house in one day!! Can you believe it? Well, you should, because that's exactly what they did! And by morning time the paint was surprisingly dry enough to have the movers haul in literally a butt load of boxes! (the conversion for buttload is 1bl=5 tons, in case you were wondering) There is so much stuff that we don't have the space for, since we are downgrading from our 3,000 sqft home to a 1600 sqft home!! It's been a challenge, but we've managed to arrange things to be pretty aesthetically pleasing :) It feels good to be back in America so far, and I'm so excited to be able to decorate the nursery!!! Ohhhh and go to an actual store to gawk at the baby isles for hours!! I haven't decided on a theme for the nursery yet, but i'm going towards a more neutral tone-- as opposed to pinky pink, which I'm sure most of you thought I would definitely do, with my love of princesses and all ;-) Don't worry though, i'll be sure to throw in some sweet decor--maybe Al will finally let me hang my framed Full House puzzle up!!! hahaa What a good Idea. . maybe i'll sneak it in without telling him ;-) I've been forced to keep it hidden in my closet for the past few years. . but I'm thinking it's time for the masterpiece to see daylight again! :) And I’m sure Avalina will appreciate fine art straight out of the womb! Decorations are something to keep my mind busy as we continue to unpack. . .:)
Finally we made it to Tampa and the very next day the movers were scheduled to come and drop off all of our household goods, but before they came, Alex - along with his team of experts-- decided to paint the ENTIRE town house in one day!! Can you believe it? Well, you should, because that's exactly what they did! And by morning time the paint was surprisingly dry enough to have the movers haul in literally a butt load of boxes! (the conversion for buttload is 1bl=5 tons, in case you were wondering) There is so much stuff that we don't have the space for, since we are downgrading from our 3,000 sqft home to a 1600 sqft home!! It's been a challenge, but we've managed to arrange things to be pretty aesthetically pleasing :) It feels good to be back in America so far, and I'm so excited to be able to decorate the nursery!!! Ohhhh and go to an actual store to gawk at the baby isles for hours!! I haven't decided on a theme for the nursery yet, but i'm going towards a more neutral tone-- as opposed to pinky pink, which I'm sure most of you thought I would definitely do, with my love of princesses and all ;-) Don't worry though, i'll be sure to throw in some sweet decor--maybe Al will finally let me hang my framed Full House puzzle up!!! hahaa What a good Idea. . maybe i'll sneak it in without telling him ;-) I've been forced to keep it hidden in my closet for the past few years. . but I'm thinking it's time for the masterpiece to see daylight again! :) And I’m sure Avalina will appreciate fine art straight out of the womb! Decorations are something to keep my mind busy as we continue to unpack. . .:)
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